Creating healthy boundaries is vital to any successful relationship. Saying no at times is necessary for self-care and mental health, and the people in your life that truly have your best interest at heart will understand this. You must consistently and wisely be able to gauge when you need to participant versus when you need rest, when you are overextending yourself to your own hurt, and when an individual doesn’t value your time or efforts. Boundaries are crucial in romantic relationships, friendships, business relationships, in the workplace, with your children, and any other affiliations in the human experience. Here are some guidelines for creating healthy boundaries in your life:
1) Don’t ignore red flags and know your worth. If someone doesn’t value your time, energy, or talent you may want to rethink that relationship.
2) Understand that it is ok to rest. You need physical and mental rest to perform optimally in your daily life. You don’t have to take every invite, every gig, or every opportunity to “hang out”. You need to be at liberty to have days that you are tired, not feeling your best, or need to mentally get away from it all (including other people). This is not a bad thing, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty that you need to have moments of resting.
3) Make respect a requirement. Some people won’t like to hear “no”. Understand that is not your problem, but it is theirs. You make the decisions regarding your life and wellness, and you don’t need to apologize for entering your happiness your into that equation. Feel at liberty to have days that you are tired, not feeling your best, or need to mentally get away from it all (including other people). This is not a bad thing, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty when you need a break.
4) Put all relationships under a magnifying glass and monitor them. Ask yourself certain questions such as “does this person consider my needs?” or “does this person overstep boundaries that I have set in my life for my happiness and wellness?” If you search your heart and find issues, have a conversation with them about it. They may be unaware that they are stepping across boundaries that you have set for yourself to be happy and whole.
Everyone won’t life your newfound lines in the sand, and that’s ok. If you don’t take care of your own health and wellness, no one will! Learn to enter your needs into every equation and in every aspect of your life. You will be a happier and healthier person because of it!
~ Written by Angelia Williams, ABD ~